Terry's Tribulations

 

As the saying goes “if it has got tits or an engine it is usually trouble” this proved to be the case very early on in our trip. David our leader started to encounter clutch slip and USB port failure on his bike, so I offered, as am not quite as portly, to swap bikes and nurse it what turned out to be three days through the mountains and along the coast to Hoi An.

Several messages to and fro with the owner of AZ Rental revealed that we needed to take the bike plus two others suffering with rear chain issues 27kms down the road to their local partners for the repairs to be carried out. Bear in mind that over 200 years of motorcycle experience had categorically stated that it was not a cable adjustment required as suggested by AZ but new clutch plates for the ailing bike which Terry had inherited..

The three of us set off just before 09:00reaching the designated shop before 10:00. We explained that three chains and 1 complete clutch was required which AZ had known about for three days! We stood about for about 30 mins and then decided to go for a coffee at the recommended shop some short walk away. 30mins and 2 coffees later Tim went back to check progress and to collect his glasses (an excuse) he returned to reveal that they were washing the bikes, Davids new chain as we thought was his old chain with a link or two removed, Tims was just adjusted as well as Terry’s which still had 3 links ‘welded’ together which caused a ridiculous surging effect when going along! Another coffee and putting the world to rights and an hour later Terry decided to check progress again, they were wheeling the bike out of the workshop stating all was done, yippee!! After being reinstated with our bikes David decided to go shopping for new waterproofs as we lost them a few days ago whilst transferring bags.

So happy as a lark Terry and Tim set off on the 27kms home, a few back streets negotiated and then on to the dual lane coastal road where shock horror as Terry accelerated in 3^rd gear the clutch slipped and even worse than before, 4^th and 5^th were almost unusable due to the horrendous slipping clutch.. Oh dear, it wasn’t fixed then! We pulled over and messaged AZ stating our woes, 5 mins passed and a response was received ….’OMG’ (that’s it) We messaged again and said what are  you going to do? A reply came back 17 mins later saying that they would replace the clutch (yes, the one that we needed 3 days earlier) But by now having got fed up waiting on the side of the road we had headed off towards the Hotel, we messaged back saying that they would need to come to us , David had rearranged our schedule so we could have a day off and it was now passed lunch time. A few more messages and 2.5 hours later we were told that the mechanic was too busy to come to us so the bike would need to be taken back to them. Some day off we were having. Terry togged up again and set off on the 27kms journey with the very poorly Honda, then bloody Google maps went haywire and tried to send Terry 361 kms to an unknown destination! Maps would not reload the route no matter how hard he tried. So, he looked up on Tom Tom Go and eventually found the address in places visited, off he went again. The traffic was light, clutch slipping ever badly but he managed to catch up a lorry carrying tons of fish when a gust of wind or a large bump caused what seemed a gallon of putrid fishy water to go all over him, he smelled like a gone off mackerel! Urgh….

Such was the deterioration of the clutch it would only propel the bike in 1^st and 2^nd gear but Terry eventually got to the shop at around 17:00, the engine was so hot that they had to spray it with cold water for 10 mins. Then they began to take the bike apart, kickstart off, cover off…ahh no tool to remove the castled nut! The assistant jumped on his bike to go and borrow a tool from someone, meanwhile the mechanic was cutting and grinding another tool to try and tackle the said nut, eventually he succeeded, next the clutch basket off, this revealed that as we had said all along the clutch plates were utterly and completely worn out. What a surprise….

OK, great, new plates to install and 30 – 45 mins all will be done, WRONG! he had to go shopping to get new plates, its 18:00 now but off he goes. 30 mins later he returned with a packet of new but after market plates, he soon fitted them, soon completed Terry thinks, WRONG! A bearing needs changing, oh he didn’t have one, more shopping, 15 mins later returns with bearing and duly fits it. Great, nearly done now just casing, kickstart and cable to connect and Terry would be on his way, WRONG! He did not have a gasket so off he goes shopping again, now it is approaching 19:00, 20 mins later he returns with a sheet of gasket paper, he starts to make the gasket for the clutch casing, great nearly done, WRONG The mechanic cocked it up so could not fit the casing. All this time Terry had been standing outside as there was no seating, feet aching and bad knee swelling up, not an ideal way to spend an evening!

So, several phone translation messages later the mechanic said that Terry should come back tomorrow. Hold on, firstly how was he getting back to the hotel? The mechanic said he would call a taxi. Secondly, he would need to get the bike back to the hotel, he agreed and said it would be 09:00, not thinking this was realistic he was asked was he sure, ahh well 10:00 at the latest was the response.

The taxi arrived 20 mins later and it took another 20 mins to figure out where the Ocean View Hotel Apartments were! Eventually they were on their way arriving at the hotel shortly before 21:00, oh and Terry had to pay 350,000 Dong for the pleasure…

To conclude the story and not to bore you too much the bike finally arrived at 11:25 the next morning, oh and the rear chain is still knackered and although the clutch does not slip anymore the aftermarket

clutch now drags and it is impossible to engage neutral.. Hey Ho!